Having just come out of the holiday season, unless you hibernate from Thanksgiving to Christmas or live off the land and have no reason to enter any kind of retail establishment, you have seen and heard them. The Bell Ringers, I mean. Every grocery store, drug and discount store has at least one entrance covered. The mall probably has one posted at every door.
This post is not anti-Salvation Army or anti-giving to the poor, so don't get your knickers in a twist. I give cheerfully to the Salvation Army and any number of worthy charities. But how many times should you give? If I dropped a buck into every kettle that I crossed during this past holiday season, I would have easily given $50 at bare minimum. Honestly, I don't have that much to give JUST to the SA. Not that they're not worthy, as I said. I simply can't afford it.
I didn't give every time, obviously. I rarely carry cash these days, I have a debit card like everyone else. One would argue that they don't expect you to drop a dollar every time, or even a quarter every time. I get that. But I give a dollar, that's just me. When I have $40 in my wallet that is specified for groceries down to the last dime, I can't give them a dollar. Not today anyway.
But one day last month, I did only have a small amount of cash at my disposal on my way into the grocery store, and I had to buy a lot. It *was* the holidays, I had cookies to bake and dinner to cook, tomorrow's lunches to think about. And on my way in the door, the woman ringing the bell, who I always exchange pleasantries with, actively begs me for money for the kettle. I responded with a smile and a "Sorry, not today!" and hurried my way in to fight the crowd. No big deal, first time a bell-ringer ever called me out, but then she did it AGAIN on my way out! I don't remember exactly what I said, but it got me worked up for the drive home.
And it's not just the bell-ringers, it's the Little League and Pop Warner parents at busy intersections with long stoplight waits holding plastic milk jugs with pictures of their kids who need uniforms, the grocery store clerks collecting for the Food Bank, the gas station attendants collecting for MDA, and the bookstore chain collecting for kids' books for literacy. Not to mention the multitudes of kids selling popcorn, cookies, candy bars, wrapping paper, candles, and every other imaginable product to raise money for their school or club or athletic team. We are bombarded with people who want our money!
When is it okay to say "Sorry, not today"? I say it a lot. And then I feel guilty. It's hard, lonely, boring work to stand there in the cold and ring a bell. And it's a worthy cause, really. And I'm not a Scrooge or a tightwad. I just can't give every person who asks my money.
Sorry, not today.
Here in the Heart of Empire we have people who accost you in the street for "a minute of your time" to sign you up to some charity donation direct from your bank account each month. They are known as "chuggers" (Charity Muggers)...
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I tell them the truth: I make my donations privately. Whether it's Girl Scouts going door to door or people collecting for the food banks, etc., I basically tell them the same things: I have close friends and/or family who are depending on me to buy from THEM, so I can't purchase from other people's kids. Everyone seems to understand. I'm not big on the Salvation Army because of their stance on homosexuality. They're more than entitled to their own opinion, but I don't have to support it. So when I tell them that I make my donations privately, it's the truth -- I'm not going to get guilted into giving them money, I do it when no one can see. The fact that you're willing to give them anything is generous enough, and it's *always* okay to say "sorry, not today!" -- it's okay to say "Sorry, no." Stop, period, end of sentence. For any reason, whether that's because you don't have change, you don't support their cause, you don't have the extra money to give, or because you don't like it when strangers dun you on ever corner.
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